


Kakusareta Tamashī

by forspitessake



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Rebirth, Sasuke's adorable, Self-Insert, but still a little shit, like always, naruto is my son and deserves everything wonderful and lovely in this world, naruto's a ray of fucking sunshine, non-canon character back story, oc is sakura, possible gore in later chapters, slight AU, soul mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 08:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6321736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forspitessake/pseuds/forspitessake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does a dead girl and a pink haired kunoichi have in common? A fondness for the emotionally stunted and socially awkward, for starters. There's also the whole 'sharing a body' thing, but eh, no big... Tch, talk about cosmic screw ups.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ichi

Being reborn was something I had never thought I would have to go through. Being raised in a God-fearing household in my previous life, I understood that there might have been something beyond my own realm of living, but after growing up, going to college, and finally growing into myself, I had fallen away from religion. And even then, my parent's religion hadn't even covered the whole reincarnation thing. Sure, I'd heard a little bit about it from friend's religions and research I'd done on my own due to my own curiosity and a need to learn more, but it was a passing focus. I'd read a Wikipedia page on Hinduism for a total of ten minutes before moving on, and that had been years before my death. So it was safe to say I was little out of my depth.

But I soon realized that this "reincarnation" wasn't at all like what I had remembered reading. First of all, _I wasn't the only one in here_. In my mind, in my body- hell, it didn't even feel like my body or my mind. There was something, or rather someone, with me, and it had control of the body I was born into. And it was an appropriately aged mind for a newborn.

I was a separate entity. I was an 18 year old adult consciousness coexisting with the mind of a baby. How the fuck is that even possible? I tried not to question it too much, even when the girl's thoughts were clearly broadcasted in the black space around me. It was like I was in a dark room, and seeing everything the girl was seeing through a large movie screen. I don't think she could hear me in her own head however, and if she did she probably didn't understand.

It wasn't until the baby was about a year old and finally able to start learning things that I found out I could take control of the body. I was bored, and she didn't seem to have much interest in learning the language, or shapes, and whatever the hell else toddlers had to learn. I knew the new language was foreign, Japanese from what my limited knowledge of foreign languages told me, and I had already had somewhat of a head start, being conscious of what was said around me for that first year. So, when her mother sat her in the high chair for lunch and began to casually repeat the alphabet for her, and the stupid girl paid no attention, I lurched forward towards the screen and was almost sucked into it. There was a flash of light, and then suddenly everything was bright, and very much real. I could feel the sensation of the girl's clothes against my (her? our?) skin, the disgusting, unsatisfying taste of mashed baby food in our mouth, and the smell of freshly baked cookies floating into the dining room from the kitchen. I swallowed the food inside our mouth with a grimace, looking intently at the girl's mother, waiting for the next word or letter. She pointed to herself and said, "Kaa-san," I parroted it, clumsy, thick little tongue awkwardly wrapping around the sound. Kaa-san was mother. Good to know. She looked spooked that I had mimicked so quickly and easily, as this was the first time she'd tried to teach us words and letters, but then her face broke into a huge smile, her green eyes twinkling, and then she was off in rapid Japanese, repeating Kaa-san multiple times as if confirming I'd gotten it right. And then she pointed to me- us, and said, "Sakura."

So, Sakura was our new name. Cute.

Lunch time seemed to be over quickly, cut short when a timer rang from the kitchen, probably for the cookies, and since that also meant the end of our impromptu Japanese session, I promptly relinquished control back to the girl, the original Sakura, pulling myself away from our senses (which was strangely simple, more intuitive than anything else). After we had both taken a moment to settle into our normal places of consciousness, Sakura immediately began wailing and screaming, as if she were truly terrified, and it gave me a start. Because it made me realize I hadn't heard her when I took control, I didn't know where she had gone, and if we had just switched places (which was likely), then of course she would be terrified; locked in a dark void of space, with no idea what was going on, but suddenly wrenched from everything that had grown familiar. Shit, I'd probably unintentionally scarred the poor thing.

As our mother rushed back in to calm her cries, I vowed to never switch us like that again. I could learn whatever I needed just fine from where I was, no matter how boring and pointless it seemed to become.

As the days rolled by, we received the same daily alphabet and word lessons from Kaa-san at lunch, and Sakura was just as uninterested in them as she was before. Kaa-san, bless her heart, was disappointed when Sakura point blank ignored her attempts to get us to say "Kaa-san" again, or any other word for that matter, but she soldiered on. Probably thought this was okay, toddlers were fickle after all. I could tell she was still concerned, Sakura was probably her first child. I had suspicions though, like maybe Sakura hadn't even remembered the first lesson, had learned nothing, and that was depressing. This child had no true desire to learn, and she wasn't even aware of it. It was a shame.

Then I thought, maybe, maybe if I could interact with Sakura directly instead of being confined behind a screen, I could help her, kick start a thirst for knowledge that had been so familiar to me in my previous life. And then maybe we could switch back and forth freely, we would be aware of each other. I could take over when she had no true desire to do something, and vice verse. Perhaps it was enabling a pattern of behaviour, and not healthy whatsoever, but who cared. We were practically the same person, I was just a different part of her. It could just be a coping mechanism, if anyone caught on.

Imagine my surprise when I looked behind me and found a completely ordinary wooden door materialize just as soon as I had decided on my intentions. I'd investigated this place thoroughly when Sakura and I had first been born, and that had definitely not been there before. Maybe I'd willed it there. Made as much sense as everything else that I'd been through so far. Without giving myself a chance to second guess, I turned and approached it, leaning my ear against the solid wood to see if I could hear anything on the other side. I couldn't, so I turned the knob, and it flew from my hands as the door swung outwards on its own.

The area it lead to was brighter, more colorful and open, and displays not unlike the screen I'd just been looking at floated about, showing blurry memories of the past year. And there I was, right in the center of them all, the door still behind me, but seemingly unattached to any kind of wall. It was just... There. Maybe it was the deeper part of the subconscious, a more suppressed part of our mind.

Beyond that was exactly what I had been looking for; a way to interact with Sakura without stuffing her back in the dark room. I could see everything she could see, feel everything she could, hear, taste, smell- I was connected with every part of her, like I was her, and not just watching from a window. If I looked back however, I could still see the memories, I could walk around the memory scape without having Sakura walk in the outside world too. We were still separate, yet one at the same time. It was a strange feeling.

"Sakura?" I hesitantly called out. We started only slightly, Kaa-san sparing us an amused glance before turning back to cooking as we played with blocks. I compelled her to look down at the block, and then said, "Buryu," slowly and surely.

Sakura paused, an unintelligible thought passing as she tested the word in our mind. "B-b-ber," she started softly.

"Buryu," I encouraged.

"Buru," she giggled. "Buru, buru, buru!" she squealed with delight. Kaa-san stiffened and spun around to look at us. She looked shocked; kids couldn't really talk until about two, and here Sakura was, saying a rather butchered Japanese version of blue all on her own. I knew Kaa-san had only said the color once, and Kaa-san knew that too, and the fact that Sakura had caught on despite that was rather baffling.

Maybe I should have started with something else.

It had been said though, and we couldn't really take it back, and Kaa-san just looked _so proud_. I sighed, cringing at my metaphorically soft heart. But at least Sakura would fly through her education, now having an adult somewhat melded with her mind.

It was approximately three months later when the reality of what we were both facing was abruptly brought to my attention. Kaa-san had taken us from our crib, and while we clutched onto our favorite stuffed toy panda, she grabbed the shaped block puzzles and sat us down in front of the mirror, leaving the toys to our right. Sakura's attention immediately went to the blocks, mind working satisfyingly quickly to try and figure out which shapes fit through which cut hole in the plain wooden box, but after a while she lost interest, turning to the large mirror before us.

I had been smiling fondly over our flighty behavior until I caught sight of her appearance in the mirror and recoiled so sharply that our physical body followed and Sakura lost balance, falling back onto the floor. I tried to calm Sakura down before she could begin to cry, singing a lullaby Kaa-san sang to us at bedtime as I tried to register what exactly I'd seen myself.

The light green eyes were familiar and average, a matching pair I'd seen on Kaa-san, only perhaps a few shades lighter than hers. But the garish, cotton-candy pink hair was very unaverage and unmistakable. No one had pink hair, it was genetically impossible. Not in my realm of possibilities at least. But this had a distinct note of recognizability, like I should know who the girl was who stared back at us from the mirror.

And I suspected. I was almost positive I knew who it was, who we were, but I just couldn't believe it ( _believe it!_ ).

I needed Kaa-san to take us outside.

It wasn't like we had never before seen the light of day, but trips outside for sunshine and fresh air were only to the backyard. The only people I had seen or met were friends of Kaa-san, ones that she had invited over. They were unrecognizable civilians.

Unlike all the other times where I had merely sat back and influenced Sakura's intentions and actions and then watched the results, I forcefully took the reigns, still making sure she was in a position to experience everything that was going on. She wasn't panicking, but I was nearly so as I pushed us up onto our feet, stumbling towards the kitchen where I knew Kaa-san would undoubtedly be making dinner.

I ambled to her, crying out "Kaa-san!" so distinctly, so clearly, that if she had been paying attention, she would have given us a victorious smile and coo over how right we were and how well a job we were doing. Now was not the time for that. "Auto, auto," I said desperately, chubby little finger pointing towards the front door. "Out, out!"

She thankfully understood, but to my frustration she only told me, "Ie, Sakura-chan." I stubbornly persisted, and she was confused with my sudden willfulness, though I paid no heed. I repeated my request twice more, demanding she take us outside, so I could see the town and its people clearly. She was exasperated, but finally conceded, picking us up under our arms and settling us on her hip. When we'd gotten outside, I frantically looked at each passing stranger, searching for some type of sign that would be attached to their person. But I found none. I sank into Kaa-san's arms, energy depleting while she fussed at my apparent distress. She turned, intending on getting us back inside when I caught sight of him; the ninja dressed in uniform with a headband tied to his forehead.

"Ah!" I squealed suddenly, unfortunately right into Kaa-san's ear as I motioned at the ninja over her shoulder. She gave a start, turning to see what had captured my undivided attention. "Shinobi, shinobi!" and shit, if I could curse out loud without feeling bad about teaching the kind of language to Sakura at such a young age I definitely would have, because that was a word Kaa-san _definitely_ hadn't taught us yet. She spared me an alarmed glance, but looked towards the ninja running across rooftops, nodding as she spoke.

"Hai, Sakura-chan. Shinobi. Tou-san is Shinobi too. So is Kaa-san."

I knew. I knew what he was, and now it made sense as to why I hadn't seen him as of yet. Long standing mission, most likely.

I knew who Kaa-san was, and I knew where I was. It could only be Konoha, because I wasn't just Sakura, I was Haruno Sakura and damn it all if that didn't make all the difference in the world.

Because I'd had the stunning misfortune of being reborn into the rough and tough, kill or be killed world of Naruto, a world that had only existed in manga and anime.

A world that was very much real, and very much mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Ah, so I've actually posted this on Fanfiction.net first, like a while ago, but then I decided that maybe it would get more traffic on AO3. It has previously been posted under LostGalRoe, until I changed my username to forspitessake, to match this one. I plan on hauling over all my stories to here, but they will also remain on Fanfiction.net, so I'll be updating them on both sites. Just fyi ^.^


	2. Ni

I ultimately decided to treat this as if it were actually happening, as if this world was just as real as my old one. It was simply too dangerous of a reality to take lightly, so I figured it was better to be cautious than ignorant. I was going to be smart about this. And if it turned out to be nothing but a dream, well then no harm no foul, right?

So, I had also decided that I would not let things progress as they had in the series. None of them deserved that, and I was determined to make Sakura a self-sufficient, powerful shinobi and woman long before she had discovered what that had meant in the timeline I'd seen. Which meant this was some deep, serious shit, and as the years passed, I urged Sakura to take every opportunity to train with Kaa-san and Tou-san whenever they had free time. It wasn't much, since Kaa-san only had those first two years of our existence for maternity leave, and then she was slated for active duty once again, but it was something. Only one parent was home at a time, with the exception of holidays and birthday's, they made sure to have those days off. They were good parents, exceptionally proud of their brilliant daughter who apparently wanted to take after them in the ninja department. We didn't have much choice with the genetics.

Sakura moaned and groaned to me (whom she thought was just her subconscious) especially as we got older and she became more articulate and chatty, but she trained as I'd suggested. To both our surprise, she had a talent for taijutsu, and she actually enjoyed it, so most of our training was with Kaa-san, since that was Kaa-san's strongest and favorite fighting technique.

We started the Academy with a promising educational career, both as a normal student and as a kunoichi. I knew already that this was going a lot better than what I had seen in the anime, though Sakura was still bullied and teased for her forehead. I'd told her to buck up, that we would grow into it and they were only jealous of our hair and eyes that shone like the prettiest of jewels. There was a lot more cursing involved however; I'd let go of my aversion to swearing like a sailor once she turned five. She could handle it, and I wouldn't let her say any of the words out loud as of yet anyway. She always sulked about that, but we made a deal that she could say whatever the hell she wanted once she turned ten. I figured that was as good a time as any. I mean, I'd never been a parent nor had I been fond enough of children to care how they developed, so what the hell did I know?

Diddly-fuckin'-squat, that's what.

The first three days of Academy were spent taking tests, both of the paper and physical kind. The instructors wanted to assess where our skill levels were before starting, so that when they could measure our successes more adeptly. We aced the paper tests, theories and concepts were simple to grasp with the mind of a eighteen year old. Or rather, technically, a twenty-four and a half year old, by the time we started at the Academy. I still felt eighteen, and maybe that was a good thing. I was dead, aging stopped at eighteen, I determined resolutely. I would hate to be anywhere closer to thirty.

Being thirty was a sore spot, admittedly.

Physical tests weren't that bad either, and it was easy to tell we excelled in taijutsu. Early training certainly had not been wasted. Our strength was shit though, but that was fine since we made up for it in speed, and our stamina was a lot better than it had been in the series. Genjutsu and Ninjutsu were apparently average and acceptable for her age and level. Our chakra pool hadn't matured fully, they explained, which was what made Genjutsu and Ninjutsu work. Our hand seals were very quick and accurate, however, and the test givers said we would be more than adept at the two arts once we exercised and expanded our chakra pool.

When we officially began classes, Sakura insisted we be there earlier than they actually began, she was that excited. I didn't care, so I didn't argue, and we ended up standing outside the doors a full half hour before they opened. Her exuberance lasted for a full 3 months.

The last week of the third month, we met Naruto. We'd seen him in class, and around the playground, and I heard how everyone treated the poor boy. Even the kids were cruel, even when they didn't know why. My heart bled for him.

We had spotted him sitting on the lone swing hanging from the tree across the dirt road in front of the school, looking rather dejected. I'd surged our feet forward without even realizing it, and Sakura fought it viciously enough that it snapped me back, and I let go of control. I'd decided a few years back, when Sakura was finally becoming aware enough of herself and the outside world, that if she didn't want to listen to my influence, or have me forcefully take control then I wouldn't push it. If she fought it, I'd let her win.

_What are we doing?!_ She demanded.

"Making friends," I told her flatly, not leaving any room for argument.

She argued anyway. _But- he's so weird. Not to mention annoying, tch._

"He's alone, Sakura. Not just alone, but lonely. Remember how we felt before Ino? And then when she took us under her wing?" I grabbed the memories of the time when Ino had stood up for Sakura and befriended her, and made her recall them.

_...Yeah, we remember._

"Naruto has no one."

_Yeah, cause no one likes him! If we start hanging out with him, we'll lose what popularity we finally got!_

"Are we a shinobi or not?" I demanded.

Her thoughts spluttered an indignant, _Of course we are!_

"Are we a proud Haruno or not?"

_Hai!_

"And are we, or are we not the Great Sakura of Konoha?"

_Hai, we are!_

"And do you know what that means?"

She paused on that one, gnawing our lip thoughtfully as she considered what her own thoughts were trying to tell her.

I explained before she answered, "It means we stand up for what we believe in. And surely we don't believe in following the crowd, while allowing some poor boy be bullied over something he has no control over? Isn't that right, _Forehead Girl_?"

She winced, but understood my point. She'd been born with a larger than average forehead. He'd been taken advantage of as a newborn, though Sakura didn't know that was the reason why he was being mercilessly teased. None of the kids did. But that wasn't his fault. Our feet shifted anxiously, and she worryingly looked over at him again.

_But what do we say?_

"Speak from our heart," I advised, "Doubt we can go wrong with that."

So, we made our way to him. He didn't even notice we were standing in front of him until Sakura awkwardly cleared our throat.

"Hi!" Sakura chirped, voice unnaturally high. Naruto's head snapped up, and I winced as I heard the crack. Didn't seem to bother him though.

He looked suspicious but hopeful as he answered, "H-hey!"

"So, uh, what are you doing?" she asked. Naruto looked around him, unsure of how to answer. He wasn't really doing much of anything.

"Nothin'," he decided with a shrug and a little smile that looked like the sun was peeking out from behind clouds. Gods, the boy was far too precious for his own good.

"Oh," Sakura said lamely.

I could have groaned with how painful this was, so I impatiently prodded her with "Need help?"

_Kami, please yes!_

I smirked and took over, telling Naruto with a laugh, "Oh yeah, I'm Sakura!" and then I stuck out our hand for him to shake, "Haruno Sakura!"

His smile widened, and stars above, the sun shone without a cloud in sight. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"

"It's nice to meet you Naruto-san," I said sincerely.

He dramatically made a retching sound at the honorific and I could feel Sakura's hesitance increase at the display of boyish behavior. "Just Naruto, no san! Please no san!"

I giggled. "Alright, Naruto it is then." At his nod of agreement, I continued. "Why are you out here so early, Naruto? And all by yourself?"

"Eh," he began, looking at the ground and scratching the back of his head, "Nothin' else to do really. It's kinda boring at home. It's boring here too, but..." he trailed off.

"Hm," I murmured. "No backpack either?" I asked, turning slightly to show him mine pointedly. His enthusiasm drained completely by then, and he looked notably conflicted, almost panicky.

"Well, I- I can't really... Afford it."

I felt bad for cornering him, but I felt it necessary. I kept silent as I stared at him and he stared at my shoes, shifting nervously on the wooden bench of the swing. "Shame. Guess we'll have to get you one after school then."

He choked on his spit and coughed as he looked up at me searchingly. _"W-what?"_

I nodded gravely. "There's no other choice. I cannot allow you to go through school without a backpack. And a lunch pail. We'll get matching pink sparkly ones, don't worry," I teased with a straight face. When he didn't respond, just continued to stare at me, I sighed. "It's a joke, Naruto. You know, 'hah, hah'?"

"Oh," he laughed, "Sorry."

"As if I'd make you get pink, that would clash horribly with orange," I pointed down at his tracksuit. "Blue is so much more your color. We'll get one to match your eyes," I added with a grin and a ruffle of his hair.

He was happily surprised. "We're actually gonna go get a backpack for me?"

"Sure are."

He leapt off the swing with his fist in the air, letting out a shout of triumph and happiness. Sakura sat back in my mind, watching with fond amusement.

_Maybe he's not so bad... And blue really would look good._

"Hey, Sakura," Naruto asked suddenly, turning back to us while trying to keep himself from jumping up and down. "Does this make us friends?"

I crossed my arms and popped my hip out, tapping my chin as I pretended to think. Naruto became worried. "You know what? I think it does, kid," I couldn't help but say.

"Hey, hey, Sakura-chan! I'm not a kid!"

"Yeah, you are. You're like six."

"So are you!"

I only laughed, catching his hand in mine. "C'mon, kid, school's about to start."

He stared down at our joined hands with a warm smile, turning it towards us after a moment and I let Sakura take back control, laughing to myself as she began to blush. The sudden shyness might strike Naruto as a little strange, but I doubted he would mind.

He'd just made his first friend, he'd accept us with all our little oddities regardless.


	3. San

Sakura and Naruto found their rhythm with their friendship without my help in only a few days. It would have been hard not to, both of them were just so open and bright. Sure, Sakura was hella judgmental and more than a little prissy, but Naruto was oblivious and forgiving enough that it worked out. We'd make it up to him at lunch, anyway, when we began bringing ramen after asking Kaa-san to pack for two in the mornings. We ended up hanging onto his lunchbox everyday until we saw each other before school, since he didn't even have enough food to put in it at home anyway. Kaa-san didn't mind, I certainly didn't, and even Sakura only pretended it was a bother. Maybe not the brightest move on Sakura's part, because he seemed to feel guilty about it all the time, but we didn't stop bringing food, and that had to count for something.

That new friendship did indeed put a strain on Ino and Sakura's, including the rest of the popular crowd that hung around Ino. Ino wasn't a bad person, just a little misguided in her priorities, so I suggested that Sakura reach out to classmates other than Ino and her people. We got to meet a lot of the boys that way, starting with Kiba and Akamaru. Kiba and Naruto were alike in a lot of regards, and maybe it was because of that, or maybe it was because one was very obviously canine while the other was closer to feline that they butted heads regularly. Shikamaru and Chōji were next, as they seemed to come as a pair as well. I thought it was a bad idea to approach Sasuke, as I worried that Sakura's fangirling would crop up then, but she seemed to do okay. Of course she still had the raging crush, what little girl wouldn't with that little darling, but she hadn't obnoxiously pined over him like Ino and her girls. It was easy to tell he appreciated the restraint.

Sasuke and Naruto were the worst, and it was adorable. Sasuke was far less doom-and-gloom at six years old, as it was before the massacre of his entire family, and therefore he was a lot more interactive with his peers. Naruto was already naturally competitive, and they behaved like siblings vying for attention from anyone they could get it from.

Shino, Hinata, and Tenten came after that. We had originally approached Shino only, but it seemed Hinata had already attached herself to him and Tenten (which was understandable; she needed some kind of allies in this crazy Academy), so we took the three of them into our group at the same time.

Neji was near unapproachable, and Sakura was downright terrified to go up and speak to him, so she allowed me to handle it (She seemed to come to the conclusion that I was some alternate personality she'd developed, which concerned her, but made more sense to her as well). It went well enough, he got only a little belligerent in the middle there, but I smoothed it over with a clever but sarcastic remark. In all honesty, it was a thinly veiled insult, but I suppose there was something appropriately crafty about the wording that struck a chord with him and he decided we really were worth his oh so precious time.

From that point forward, I took to silently calling him Princess Pretentious in Sakura's mind, something that never failed to make her giggle.

As for Lee, I almost didn't want us to make nice with him. He just had _so much_ energy and so much sheer _in-your-face-ness_ , and we were already dealing with two extremely rowdy boys in our group. Sakura definitely wasn't scared of him, but I almost was. In the end, I was on board with absorbing Lee into our group, mostly because we had made friends with practically everyone and that would have excluded him pretty severely, _and_ he was teased for his lack of abilities already on top of everything else. He'd have next to no support system if we hogged everyone, and what a bitch move that would have been. So there it was.

We had basically assembled the Rookie 9 about six years early. I didn't believe it to be a mistake, they would all need one another before long, and the earlier the friendships began, the stronger the foundation.

Almost exactly one year later, my hypothesis was proven correct when Sasuke's entire clan was wiped out by his brother. We found out about it the next morning, as I had been keeping on eye out for it, knowing the incident would happen pretty soon, and I convinced Sakura to skip class to visit him in the hospital. She was aghast ( _disobeying rules, we can't!_ ), but I managed and she insisted I take over because she had no idea where to begin with that situation. I was prepared for her demand, mostly since I already had an argument lined up to push her to that decision anyway; I figured an actual seven year old would definitely fuck up that kind of conversation.

We hadn't told anyone else, not even Tou-san who had seen us off to school that morning, and I was sure Naruto would be concerned when we didn't show up, but I figured bombarding an already intensely private Sasuke with a whole slew of people would be very much the wrong move. He'd do nothing but push everyone away and retreat, which had been his mistake in the series.

So, we had dropped by Shikamaru's home early in the morning, since I could count on him not to ask questions, and politely requested he give Naruto his lunchpail before lunch break. He'd agreed (with a long suffering sigh and muttered "troublesome"), and we were off.

Finding Sasuke's room was ridiculously easy, even after the receptionist refused to tell us his room number. I drew the conclusion that this was a high security incident, and he was not only a witness, but also a victim who would need to be debriefed and questioned. As an underage juvenile, he had laws protecting his privacy, and as an underage witness to a crime he had even more laws protecting the entire case. In addition, the Uchiha Clan was one of the most prominent clans in Konoha, so of course the politicians would want to keep everything about their massacre tightly under wraps until the last minute.

But I persevered. We stood back near the waiting room, and silently watched for a few minutes. Numerous shinobi were boarding the elevator, so we boarded with a few of them at one point, smiling innocently at them, and allowing them to all get off without us. I took note of what floor it was (Floor 3), but pretended we were heading to the one above, taking the elevator back down to Floor 3 once I covered our tracks. It let off in the middle of the hallway, however there was no reason to worry, since one side was strangely bustling with activity. We veered off in that direction, no one paying attention to the little girl who was barely waist-level. I snorted at the lack of security, but figured the chaos was due to the freshness of the incident, and because there had never really been an incident like this in years.

His room was numbered as 304, I discovered, after watching the Hokage enter it. I hesitated for perhaps a full minute before deciding fuck it, Sasuke probably wasn't going to talk yet anyway, and slipped in stealthily. Of course, the Hokage and his ANBU bodyguards noticed immediately and were on guard in a millisecond, kunai's drawn threateningly.

I focused only on the Hokage, however, as I bit out with a glare, "I really don't think he's quite in a state to talk as of yet, don't you?" My eyes slid to an inert, pale little boy swallowed in sheets, still obviously in shock, and then slid back to the Hokage, cocking my head wonderingly.

"And who might I ask you are?" asked Sarutobi with feigned lightness. I didn't ease up though.

"Haruno Sakura," I answered. "Close friend of Uchiha Sasuke."

"How and why are you here, Haruno Sakura-chan?"

I smirked dangerously, crossing our arms and cocking a hip to the right. Hell, if he was going to be condescending, might as well give him attitude. "Well, first of all, your security is appallingly lax. I'm not even a genin and all I had to do to find Sasuke-kun was sit back and observe all your little ninjas running around like chickens with their heads cut off." I rolled our eyes, gesturing towards Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun didn't show up for school, and I thought perhaps he was sick, so I was going to bring him some miso to cheer him up," Sarutobi couldn't dispute that, I had our backpack to provide enough evidence, "But when I got to the compound, nobody would let me in, and it was strange to see so many non-Uchiha shinobi crawling around. I followed one, and he led me here. As to why I'm here, I'm here because after hearing all the mutterings and whispers, it's become glaringly apparent that Sasuke needs someone familiar for support and comfort, not a distant bureaucrat intent on dredging up a traumatic experience so soon after it happens. So soon, in fact, that he's _still in shock_ from it. Will you tell me I'm wrong, Hokage-sama? Will you tell me that you are not, in fact, here to question Sasuke-kun?" Sarutobi was deathly silent, and my eyes narrowed minutely. "Thought not."

I was taking a _ginormous_ risk with being so flippant and disrespectful towards the Hokage, not to mention I was very close to ruining Sakura's image, but I was beyond the point of caring. Sarutobi would play yet another a part in this event by covering up the truth and as a result would hurt someone I'd grown to care about, and there wasn't a goddamn chance I was going to let him get away with it scot-free. He was manipulative, like all politicians and people of power. Perhaps not to the point of cruelty, but enough for me to resent and be wary of.

Sarutobi stood smoothly, hands sliding into his sleeves as he joined them. "Perhaps I shall visit at another time," he said, looking down at me as he walked to the door. He paused as he passed me. "You are rather astute, Haruno Sakura-san. However, cleverness can only take a kunoichi so far without the skills to back it up. You are missing lessons that will teach you these skills, I advise you not to spend too much time here." In other words, by the time I come back, you'd better be gone girly. He wasn't leaving though, he was still staring at us with an air of consideration and judgment, but I refused to look away from him, I refused to be cowed or scared into submission. "...You will make a fine kunoichi."

"As a proud future _shinobi_ , Hokage-sama, I thank you for your recognition," I threw back at him, without even thinking it through. With all the tolerance only a weathered man such as he could posses, he dipped his chin response, smiling as if I had truly amused him. I almost became indignant, until I searched his gaze and found that he wasn't patronizing me, but actually commending me. For exactly what, I wasn't sure, maybe for 'looking underneath the underneath'. It stuck in my mind, however, even after he and his ANBU finally left, and then Sasuke and I were alone.

Sasuke had moved during the confrontation, though I hadn't noticed, and he was staring at me, eyes all wide and beseeching. He was conflicted, I could tell, unsure of how to feel after hearing and seeing that I was there for him. Should he be relieved and accept my freely given comfort, or was this when he should start alienating himself from everyone beginning with me?

I sighed, moving to the bed with a look of understanding, slipping off our shoes when I reached his side and climbing up with him. The way he immediately latched onto me very nearly broke my heart, and I held him back as tightly as I could. He was shaking, the front of our dress becoming warm and damp, and I knew he was crying. Sakura freaked out, she hadn't really stopped since we left home, but I pushed her down, insisting that this wasn't the time and carded our fingers through the back of Sasuke's hair soothingly, singing a few verses of a distantly remembered Kansas song.

Of all the music in the world, I'd gone with Kansas.

Sakura was thoroughly lost ( _...we've never heard that song before?_ ), but Sasuke was brought to his breaking point, his silent sobs turning to high, keening wails of pure grief that only a child could achieve.

I think, on some level, I understood what Sarutobi was going through, I knew he had no other options other than to keep the details of the massacre a secret, and I knew the betrayal of a good friend had to be killing him inside. I was unsympathetic. That wasn't good enough for me. My friend was hurting, and I wanted nothing more than to hunt down every person who had a hand in it, before or after, and make them pay. Maybe that made me selfish, maybe it made me a little amoral, but that self-awareness did nothing to soften my cold fury.

As I rocked Sasuke in my arms, I hoped that Sarutobi had dawdled near the room long enough to listen. I hoped he could hear the emotionally agonized cries of a seven year old boy who had been abandoned by his family, because they were either dead, or on the run. I hoped he would think about how he would later have to lie to this child, to everyone, directly to their faces, and not let the truth see the light until it was too late.

I hoped the sounds of Sasuke's heartbreak and despair would keep Sarutobi Hiruzen awake at night as he stared at a dark ceiling and tried to sleep. Sleep he would not find even as the dawn rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song she uses as a lullaby for Sasuke is Wayward Son by Kansas. Original, right? But I found a cover of it by Mina Harrison a few years back that really stuck with me, so that's the version she sings. It's really pretty, I suggest you Youtube search it.
> 
> Also, I know that Lee, Neji, and Tenten are older and in separate classes than the rest, but I figured they would all be let out for lunch break and such at the same times, which is how she (the narrator) and Sakura have the opportunity to befriend them.


End file.
